So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
