Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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