ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
