Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize