ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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