There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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