He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
