I'd wear matching sweaters with you
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
