Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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