Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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