i would punch a child for taco bell
I think I won the penis lottery.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
