Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
