i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
