I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't turn off my feet"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
