I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize