We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize