Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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