this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
