just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos