me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.