chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left