Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen