is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
