the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
