just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
