I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
