GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize