So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
