Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
