I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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