Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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