Buhtt sex?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
