Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize