apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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