Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize