So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
