you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
