I'm gonna have a badass scar
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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