just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
