so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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