I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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