I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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