she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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