Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
why is half of my head shaved?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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