please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
