I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
