She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
