I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize