You just made me feel so damn special
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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