we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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