We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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