Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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