What a fucking waste of an outfit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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