He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
bring money and cleavage
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Randomize
