so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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