Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
