i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
