The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
