That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
