It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
