So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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