The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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