Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
