this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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