It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
