i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize