Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
