I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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